When my brother Graham was about ten he went to camp for a week in northern Michigan. There are two things I remember to this day about his return. First, my mother was appalled to discover he hadn't changed his clothes during the entire time, and even worse, when he was given the assignment to memorize any verse in the New Testament, he chose John 11:35. In case you are not familiar with John 11:35, it is the shortest verse in the New Testament, and in fact, the whole English Bible. It simply says, "Jesus wept".
As I write this post I am happy to report that although Graham's health is still very precarious, he is feeling better and about to be discharged from the hospital. I am very thankful that today I am not mourning his loss. This brings me to John 11:35.
Jesus deliberately delayed coming to Lazarus' house so that Lazarus would die and He would raise him from the dead. Jesus knew that Lazarus was going to die. There was no doubt about it. As the God/Man, Christ knew this with perfect certainty. And yet, Jesus did not grieve this loss ahead of schedule. He talked with the disciples about the death of Lazarus without emotion (see vs.11,15). He spoke to Martha with hope, not tears (vs. 23-26). It was not until he saw Mary weeping along with their Jewish friends that He was "deeply moved in spirit" and then proceeded to the tomb where He wept openly.
Two truths I see here in the life of our Lord. First, there is "a time to weep" (Ecclesiastes 3:4). There should be no doubt in any Christian's mind that grieving the loss of a loved one is not only acceptable, but encouraged, given our Lord's example. Yes, I know that some scholars think that Jesus wept because He was grieved about the lack of faith on the part of the mourners. Verse thirty-three could be interpreted in that way. But I believe that Jesus was empathizing with those who were profoundly affected by this sad situation. Based on verse thirty-six; "see how He loved him", and the nature of our Lord, I believe that Jesus was grieved by the pain and suffering of his good friend, even knowing that within minutes he would be alive and well again! Grieving is a Christian response to death. Yes, the person is better off if he or she knows Christ as Savior. Yes, we will see him or her again if we are trusting in the Lord. But grieving the death of a friend or loved one is good, right and appropriate for Christians. Our Lord is our best example. We don't need to make excuses, apologize or be ashamed of our tears.
Having said that, it is also clear to me that the time for grief is not until someone has died. While there is life, even though death is certainly coming, we need to enjoy our time with the person who is leaving us. We need to speak of life, not death. We need to focus on God's goodness and purpose. We must not bury people too soon.
Last week some folks had my brother all but buried. But he is still kicking and hopes to keep doing so for a while longer. I am rejoicing that He is still with us, and I will be happy for every day he can remain with his family and live for our Lord. There is a time to weep, but not yet...not yet.
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